i'm worried

i'm worried if today will only last till midnight when this critical illness will take you away from this wonderful world, despite i know, it does mean you'll be freed from all agonies of life that have hammered you in the past 1 year

i'm worried...

i'm worried if what doctors said turns out to be true that hours are now being counted as your presence to this world is limited till thursday early morning when hopelessness is the only word to describe you and the world

i'm worried...

i'm worried if my last visit of 2.5 months ago would turn out to be our final moment of being together for which all tears seemed to have been dried up as no weep left to shy that anguish of that day

i'm worried...

i'm worried if last night's call which ended up unaswered was the only token that you had nothing left to say as nothing more to comment because this misery was too much to carry on when life seems to be least meaningful

i'm worried...

i'm worried at most by now
i'm worried if you might leave me at any minutes from now
i'm worried i can't do anything but pray
i'm worried at most

(if things turn out to be the only way for which heaven is your next destination then i could only send ton of prayers for your everlasting peacefulness, something you've strived in this life, and now you are about to be rewarded forever)

(if things seem to be reckless at the beginning, now it is flawless at the ending)

(our Dear Lord has saved a decent place for you in heaven)