punctuality, selfish & sour taste in my mouth

i might have a song to sing but i'm not sure whether you have lyrics to write

and if you do what kind of lyrics to share?
was it a blemish lyrics?
or was it bleak tone?

to be honest, loads in this mind to write but i'm unsure whether blaming, accusing, or pointing finger to others is a good way to earn respect, instead i believe it is one of the simplest ways of losing respect from others

and i'm now sure that seeing some attitudes in selfish people on the last friday really produced some bad tastes of sourest feeling in my mouth, and this bad taste remained here till the minute when jotting down this piece of writing

i tried hard to leave it all behind, but the harder i tried the harder it haunted me back, so i shall be honest to share that last friday was a blemish day as the person i must meet was simply unpunctual, unjust, selfish, blaming lover and just unnice to meet with

i shall be 30-minute earlier from the scheduled meeting to avoid any potential late of weekend's traffic, and i was there in senayan city at 430pm, as the meeting shall be at 5pm, and this meeting had been rescheduled from 4pm, because i sensed that 4pm might be too tight for this person

when reaching there, i texted that i was ready at any time for the meeting, and it was replied that "thanks for informing, and i'll see you soon", and with this reply i was sure to meet up at 5pm as i must leave this place at 630pm to have another gathering meeting at 7pm in cityloft (later i joined my friends in mu cafe)

what happened to my surprise, this person turned up in 535pm, without any noticed despite i texted twice to confirm whether the meeting was still on or not, and when i was about to leave, this person turned up with smile by saying "sorry i was disrupted by shoes for a while"...(later i found out this person was shopping shoes before meeting me... omg)...

i felt sour in my mouth, and my body language was clear with unease feeling...
right away i felt unease dealing with this person and it was just killing me...

and what happened next was even amazing as i was blamed from being too discipline with schedule and left no room to be late, and i was left wordless to know that i was in the position to be accused further...
(where in the world the wrong accuses the right?)...

i was lost for a moment or two...
when i was finally able to get myself on the grip, i noticed that this person shared a series of things that i abhored most in this life which is unpunctual and selfishness...

look, i'm not a perfect by any means and i can be late or later by all means too, but i believe it is really fair if we tell the other side if we are late or later, while indicating how long will be late as this is to show some good respect to others which is very common by any means

but without any notices, instead shared the blames, and tried hard to defend some arguments which is silly and baseless in my very assessment, i think, this person was just wrecking the whole good image that i had and this was disaster indeed from now onward

gladly to know in later hour before saying good bye, an apology was shared and accepted, despite no sign of sincerity in apologizing was given, for which, i think it was an obvious indication this person was just too much for the pride

i might be wrong in sharing this, but i think i must write for relieving something i feel really bad in this mouth...

i'm hopeful our Dear Lord will understand why i shall complain about this as i'm -by nature- not a complainer, but this person took so much of my dislike of last friday

till day arrives i know i shall find the best way to deal with this person, i shall take more initiatives by callings or texting before the meeting, otherwise, my time was wasted, and if possible, i try not to deal with such personality that only leaves plenty of sour taste in my mouth

have a splendid monday everyone...

i'm glad...

and we don't know how it ends as i never know when it begins...

if i'm blamed to wait too long to see an opened door after another door was closed the other day, i'll take the whole blame, and i never regretted to come to term to seize this joy of life that i'm now savoring

at least, a new beginning started last night when honesty was unveiled in the 70-minute talk over the phone, and i was surprised to have known how much wrong-impression you got over me just by looking the outside of me without knowing me well inside

but i'm glad we talked it over...
but i'm glad we sorted it out...
and i'm glad we left those past hurts then moved for sweeter futures...

while days might be longer and hills might be steeper i never lost any faith that we'd make it there since we have all it takes to get there, a handful love and a series of understandings that others might have envied

and i see no any other foreseeable future that might prevent us from not moving forward with this life, and every leading token to best partnership is now crystal clear, and i know we'll be there, get there, together and forever

if there is a question of when then i shall leave it to the world of certainty to answer since i'm the slave of certainty, and in you, i found load of certainties about life, love and eternity

if there will be a question, as questions keep coming back, i'll be a sweet surrender to your hearty certainty that makes me like a child in the swing of lullaby, a day when you promised to keep me for good and bad, ups and downs, thicks and thins, more and less and forever

if there are many more to ask, or to question, i'll be there with answers and some of answers might not be there as every question might have no answer and some of the best answers are lied in unanswered

and i know this is my now, that's it... nothing more...
live it for now and forever...

loves you so much...
(kevin and anthony)

till day arrives

i'm in doubt if nothing could stop me from leaving this city as my aim to be in the island of god seems to become more imperative than ever as every token of my heart leads to one single evidence that my life has been destined to be there

i'm in doubt if every best dream that i've dreamed for is only to live peacefully in this island, a place where sun shines all year long, a city where live has been well blended with joy and bliss, a destination where my soul finds its best shell

i'm in doubt if anything in this world could stop me from believing that my life was made in east, then shifted to the west, but would end up in the central, a kind of perfect combination of life

i'm in doubt really...

even last night when i was in earnest talk with my dear ones, i shared how much i want to live this life to the fullest, and this might be realized when i move to this island within nearest years as i know the calling is louder than before, and it is my time to pay back to my Dear Lord

and i shared to people i care, woman i love, parent i adore and families i respect that i've been in love with this place, and i'll keep going back to regain my soul that i've left somewhere near the steep cliff where best view of sunset was made once for all

suddenly i know this calling never ends, and i know it'll be coming back for more as i find ton of happiness whenever i arrive there, and some of friends, and old friends started moving there to build up a new community

if time allows me, i'll be there for good, and if my Dear Lord permits me, i wish to be there earlier than planned, but still, i leave it all this to the hand of my Redeemer

till day arrives, i keep hoping, praying and wishing for that day

..i shall be frank with you...

I shall be frank that I’m happier now than at any other stage of my life and I’m more than ready to sign a contract of living in a place called “heaven on earth” in the near future

Anything is looking up and I could hardly be in a more confident mood that this is the right time to live up my dream, living my dreaming life in the best possible manner

Having gone thru decades of working-hard then followed by years of working-smart, then scored some decent things in my future investments, I suddenly find myself leading a life with realistic ambitions of moving to this dreaming island where sun shines all the way thru the year

It is a far cry from the dark days when all seems life would never been possible to retire young while doing charity work to help the lesser ones, but now all seems to be highly possible and in the next 4 years, by latest, I’m a man with dreaming life

I must, again, confess that…
"I have never been happier throughout my whole life than I am at the moment"

"I have four years left on my plan to work and live in Jakarta and if there was a chance to leave this hectic city, I am sure I would”

"I am entertaining a simply brilliant enterprise, working with a top team with best skills in the industry and I believe in the genuine partnership for which, going forward, I am sure we can be successful"

I must, again, confess that the relationship with my people and my partner plus those who have been in the business with us is the pivotal factor

Now I’m speeding up every possible way to make it earlier as I’m holding my feat with destiny as I know that Bali has stolen my soul since I first visited this place decades back

Now I’m loving the idea of living in Bali is just a matter of time

Now I’m knowing that helping the lesser ones is another feat of my life that I must do to repay the talents our Dear Lord has given to me

I know I’d do this with all of my heart…
(for always)….

Kevin & Me

She Is My Lover (1)

In life, I'm a slave of my dreams… In happiness, I'm a slave of giving.

I don't know if you read my recent email to you a month ago but I think and hope you'll get the message… Sometimes, you've got to be a little cruel to be kind (especially when telling the honesty)…

Fact is, money isn't everything... Status isn’t anything….

I'm thinking of myself, my families, my best friends and my responsibility to our Dear Lord here, too…. Perhaps it's vanity; perhaps it's the passion for helping others I've carried since I was kid…. But I cannot bear the thought of saying goodbye to help the lesser ones...

I've done few to help others and I’d love to give it another crack in giving more and help others to reach their dreams thru proper educational path that everyone is deserved to have

But for that, I've got to work hard and smart

My heart is now talking to two things: balance and boundary…
In balance I’ve found load of amicable natures while in boundary I’ve found pool of acceptances

Of course, I will obey every of what I can’t do in giving…
This isn't it about fame or fortune…. For once, it's just about giving

Have a splendid Monday everyone!

She Is My Lover...

Saying good bye is never easy, especially when the timing is not right and reason is only slight. But, please, you have to let me go.

Truth is, I've found another love.
With her, I feel fulfilled and I feel blessed

She's given me a new spell on my life and I've rediscovered my good reason to be happier in this life

Her name is “giving heart”…
Some call her "charity work" and I've been tickled pink ever since I met her recently, and like my joyful times with swimming and yoga, I'm back where I feel happier: giving to the lesser and helping the unfortunate ones

Yes, I know I said my love for Bali would be unrivalled, my assigned works might be too hectic, and both might limit my chance of doing the giving in Jakarta

Yes, you are right to think this way but I didn't know then that being involved with charity work would be so much fun. (And the fulfillment in my heart ... Wow!)

Perhaps you missed my goal of life which I should have told you earlier when we met the other day.

Was my best friend “just give it without take it” shown to you my philosophy of life before?

Anyhow, the joy of giving was a gem, the kind that made me happy, a free ticket to walk in the path of bliss that I’ve learnt from my tutor of life “mr. yoga”

Truth, I'm still learning happiness' language, but I know what "joy" means

I know it's hard on you...
But here I am once again… giving is my joy… I’ll keep doing this while I can

I’m now missing a gal with charity’s heart badly…